Medical Anomalies Tour 2017

One of the joys(?) of going on the transplant list is that in order to be active and actually receive a kidney, the transplant team has dug deep into my medical record and I have to get cleared by every specialty I've  ever had the pleasure of meeting.  Because I seem to be the queen of random, mostly benign, and always ridiculous (or maybe that's just me) medical things, I thought I'd share with you what has been filling my days this month as I work towards being able to accept  a kidney.  

So no worries, all you wonderful people who have called Vilda and had blood drawn, I've been visiting doctors too.  You are not alone.

The first doctor I visited on the tour of Katrina's medical anomalies was the dermatologist.  I needed to see him because 6ish years ago I had a squamous cell something or another removed my face.  I wrote about it my long neglected family blog here. Spot Removal  I wish that last part had faded from memory but it still makes Madelyn laugh.

Franken-face has healed beautifully and you can barely tell it was ever there.

The second stop on my tour was to the Neurologist to check on Marvin the benign meningioma.

Hi Marvin!  He's still my brainspace hitch hiker.  We have a working relationship and he's getting new pictures made soon.  I think I'll get him a new hat for the occasion. Also, proof I have a brain for all those nay-sayers.

Stop number three was to the hematologist because of that time two years ago my blood decided it was tired of flowing unobstructed through my veins and I developed a PE with DVT.  Sounds like an old man commercial doesn't it?  Like I should be on a golf course talking about life saving medications so I can spend time with my grand kids.  Nope.  Just regular ol' 36 year old me getting more random stuff.  My clots were quickly and easily treated with little problem, and the hematologist happily cleared me for new kidney surgery.

Oh my gosh guys, while I was typing this blog a commercial with a woman in it for DVT/PE came on!  I don't know if she's a grand-ma because she talked about her 30 year marriage and that's a younger kid but who am I to judge. You live your life how you want DVT/PE commercial chic.  Also, these commercials don't apply to kidney disease people.  We get to stick with old medications they are trying to replace.  Yay us!

Back to the first stop on our tour.  The dermatologist.  Let me tell you, if you have never stripped down to your skivies and stood and let a doctor with a little magnifying monocle look at all your spots, you haven't lived.  Also, have you met me?  I have spots.  Spots to spare.  Some raised spots (thanks getting old) some flat spots.  

Apparently a spot on my face that needed to be frozen and fall off.  Not sure what was different about that spot, but doc said it needed to be frozen so it got frozen.  

And a spot on the back of my leg that I thought was a regular raised spot I'd made angry by shaving him got his top sliced off.  He has now joined the ranks of named medical anomalies.

Introducing Basil (pronounced bah-zul) the Basal Cell Carcinoma.

Basil is being cut off tomorrow.  Like I found out about his nefarious origins yesterday and TOMORROW he's being cut off.  You guys read about my worries when I had franken-face.  If you didn't, the link is up there - go read it.  I'll wait.

 Ok, you caught up?  

Guys.  I'm gonna become a pirate.  

My leg is gonna fall off, I'll have to get a peg leg and then I'll be pirate.  No, I don't think I'm exaggerating.  It's the only possible outcome of having a spot smaller than a dime cut out of my left calf.  

I'm so glad crossbone eyepatches are easily available in the stores right now.  

The timing is impeccable.